First of all, to that dude in the button-up shirt and jeans walking down Canyon: Your hot girlfriend was totally giving me the eye. You're lucky I'm taken.
Second, I just pulled the a bug the size of a bald eagle out of my damn eye. I don't know how they do it, but those bastards seem to always fly right into my eye. I'd wear goggles, but then that dude's girlfriend wouldn't smile at me. At least, not for the right reasons.
Third, a tip for you aggressive panhandlers: When I'm in running shorts and a soccer jersey, odds are I don't have my wallet. And if I'm not jingling, it's a really good bet I don't have any spare change. Try the nicely-dressed people lined up for the teahouse.
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